I Don't Want to Introduce People to Christians

This picture was the topic of controversy today. Actually one of my brother's posted it, claiming that this is another instance where hypocritical Christians were judging him. My heart broke for a second, and I chose to read the comments that had been posted on it.

In short, a guy had attempted to stand up for Christian's and my brother noted that he knows not all Christians are bad and that he respects his sisters faith. This stirred up a desire for me to post a comment - one directed to my brother, telling him that I love him and am glad he does not think I believe things such as this sign and I went on to explain a little more about my beliefs. Almost immediately after I left my comment, one of my brother's facebook friends told me to shutup.

In my flesh - I was ANGRY.

How dare this guy that doesn't even know me tell me to shutup?! Really, my first reaction was defense - he disrespected me for no reason, and I wanted respect.

But I stopped... Why did this guy want me to shutup? What on earth could my post, directed at my brother, have done to offend him. So politely I asked him. Then he cursed at me and told me that he didn't need to explain himself to a Christian. I wasn't even mad this time... I understood.

He has been hurt by a Christian or by the church before.

Something happened to make him so hateful towards all Christians - this guy really had no idea who I was and he hated me. I apologized for whatever hurt incurred to him, and went on about Christ's love for him. We exchanged a few more comments, with as much grace as I could muster up; but he was so closed off - he had already decided from the beginning he was not going to listen to me.

I actually got a little mad at Christians for a moment. Someone hurt him so bad that when he hears (or reads) the word Christian, hate automatically stirs in his heart. What a terrible thing he must have experienced. And it (likely) occurred in the name of Jesus. Wow!

I was disgusted, I was mad, I was ... GUILTY. 

I have been that "Christian" before; I have dishonored the name of Christ - I have (unintentionally) turned someone away from Christ. I HAVE BEEN THE WORST OF THESE. 

I have slaughtered opportunities to witness, I have been unloving to people who don't know the person of Christ, I have condemned people, I have written people off as guilty and didn't even think to consult The Judge about it. I have slandered the name of Christ.

I DONT WANT TO INTRODUCE PEOPLE TO CHRISTIANS

Christians hold up those signs. Christians are ugly, broken, and sinful people. Yes we are redeemed and on a road of sanctification, but man am I still broken. Even in my growth, I am a shattered representation of Christ our King. I am not going to save anybody. And neither are you.

I WANT TO INTRODUCE PEOPLE TO CHRIST

Christ. Now He saves people. He lived a perfect life. He endured the temptations we face every day, and He conquered them. He conquered sin, and He conquered death. That's who I want to introduce people to. I never want to be the standard, Christ alone is King. I am nothing without Christ. In my own flesh, I turn people away - in the Spirit, people are drawn close.

Today, my heart broke. For the guy I chatted with, for the people I have turned away, and for all of the lost. God. He alone can save. He hears our prayers, and is alone mighty to save.

I made a choice to hand my life over to Christ; a choice that each is presented with. My choice is not based on feelings, or what God can do for me. My choice is based on the Goodness of God, the Truth of Jesus, and the Power of the Spirit.

*Disclosure: I am surrounded by a wonderful community of Christians, and believe all Christians should be in Christian community - I simply do not believe that we have the power to save, or should ever be the standard for non-Christians.

What If God Never Blessed You Again?

Today, I heard a song come on my Pandora that reminded me of a conversation I was recently apart of. The lyrics go like this . . .

"If all my world was swept away, would You be enough for me?

Would my beating heart still sing?

If I lost it all, would my hands stay lifted to the God who gives and takes away?"

And the song continues like this and more. It's really quite a provoking song if you genuinely look inside yourself for these answers. It's easy to sing along with songs like this, but do we really mean what we are saying? What really struck me today though, was how similar the questions in this song mimicked questions I was asked a little over a week ago.

In a small group setting, we were reflecting on this past season of lent and how our relationships with God had been impacted (or not); which led into a conversation of different ways and seasons that people relate to God.

We were then asked:

"What if God never blessed you again? Would what He has done in your life up to this point be enough?"

Initially, I was a little confused. I answered how I wanted to say yes of course, but I was having trouble fitting a god like that into my view of who I know God to be. I went on to say yes, because the truth of who He is and His saving grace is more than enough for my complete devotion and my life; but I reiterated how I just had trouble imagining the scenario, because the God I know would not withhold blessing from me just to prove a point.

Don't start thinking "but He did it to Job" ... Just bear with me a second.

This thought just sat at the forefront of my mind as the conversation continued...

Until someone was brave enough to be honest about how hard it would be to have a FAMILY MEMBER BRUTALLY MURDERED, or a CHILD KIDNAPPED, BEATEN, AND MOLESTED. 

That's when it all clicked for me.

We think of blessings as material things, protection, safety, prosperity,

security, success, money, comfort . . . and the list goes on.

BUT THAT'S NOT HOW OUR GOD DEFINES BLESSINGS!

Jesus defines a blessed person in a much different way:

MATTHEW 1:5-11

BLESSED are THE POOR IN SPIRIT; for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven

BLESSED are THOSE WHO MOURN; for they will be comforted

BLESSED are THE MEEK; for they will inherit the earth

BLESSED are THOSE WHO HUNGER & THIRST AFTER RIGHTEOUSNESS; for they will be filled

BLESSED are THE MERCIFUL; for they shall be shown mercy

BLESSED are THE PURE IN HEART; for they will see God

BLESSED are THE PEACEMAKERS; for they will be called the sons of God

BLESSED are THOSE WHO ARE PERSECUTED because of righteousness; for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven

BLESSED ARE YOU WHEN PEOPLE INSULT YOU, PERSECUTE YOU, AND FALSELY SAY ALL KINDS OF EVIL AGAINST YOU BECAUSE OF ME.

WOW! Look how Jesus defines a blessed person. 

Jesus doesn't say blessed are the ones who have the most things - in fact He says blessed are those who mourn (those who have lost something). Jesus doesn't say blessed are the happy people - He says blessed are those what are poor in spirit (who recognize their condition apart from God). Blessed are those who hunger & thirst after righteousness (who see the evil in this world, and experience turmoil over it). Jesus has a habit of taking ideas we have and flipping them on their heads. If the world voted on the most "blessed" person in the world, and Jesus showed us the most blessed person in the world - I bet those two people would be leading completely different lives.

Sure, I believe that God cares about our happiness and the little things in our lives because He is a personal God; but I believe He is much more concerned with the state of our hearts and our commitment to Him.

I can say from my own life, that my biggest blessings have come when I was in my deepest despair, when I had lost all hope...

I have never had a spouse brutally murdered, or a child kidnapped and abused - and by God's grace I pray that I never do. But I have had one of my brothers, and then my father commit suicide. So I want you to know that I can only write this blog about God's goodness because I have been the one to curse it. 

Some of the worst days of my life, are simultaneously my best. I can't quite explain how, other than God is so good that He has taken the tragedies in my life to reveal his glory. I am not saying that God MADE these tragedies in my life happen - that is really a conversation for another time, but I do have to believe that God at least allowed for these things to happen, knowing the final result (I am not the final result; merely a stop along the way - Jesus' return to usher in the Kingdom of God will be the final result). I can't explain to you all the mysteries of how God operates; all I know is what the bible says and what has been true in my own life.

How many times do we read and hear people talking about "being refined through the fire" and "consider it joy when we face trials of many kinds, for we know that the testing of our faith produces endurance . . . so that you may be lacking nothing." 

God is working through the tragedies; these are our blessings! 

There is a good chance I would not know the grace and love that Jesus has to offer had it not been for the crippling death of my brother. And I definitely would not have explored the truth of God and who He says to be had it not been for the heart wrenching death of my father.

So in conclusion, no I can not place my self in a position to think about God never blessing me again; because true blessings, like the ones Jesus speaks of, are what draw people near to God, they are how God's majesty, glory, and power are revealed, they are what make lost people found, they reveal and unlock the Kingdom of Heaven; which is what God is all about!

It's easy to have the right answer in small group...

But when you are honest with yourself; in the dead of night, and when you can't hear God's voice, and He gives no indication that He even heard your cry; would you still be faithful to God if you began to have a fate like Job did...?

If there was nothing left in your life other than your faith in God, is that enough for you? Do you really believe that the veil has been torn and God hears your every cry? Do you believe that God's plan for your life is greater than your own? Do you believe that being blessed doesn't necessarily mean you will be successful or happy or even safe in this life? Is your God big enough to cover even that?

"If you take it all, this life you've given, still my heart will sing to you."

A Journey Inside

So, I decided to start this blog for one reason:

I want my life to be a light to others

My intention is to be fully transparent here. To take you (whoever you are) on my journey with me. To reveal the areas of my life that God is teaching me new things. To provide a place where you don't feel alone - and for you to know it's a good thing to be a life long learner; especially as a follower of Jesus.

My vision for this blog came from my personal reflection over this past Easter Resurrection season
      --> reflecting on where I have been; and where God's grace gift of Jesus has brought me today.

God has been teaching me and reshaping my life in drastic ways this past year (or two) and I am completely humbled.

I want nothing more than my life to be a proclamation that JESUS IS KING.

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The title of my blog "Living With a Torn Veil" comes from the verse Mark 15:38

"And the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom."

This is one of my favorite verses in the whole bible. I think it portrays the whole Gospel in one simple sentence. You see, there is so much to this one verse that is so simple to pass over, and miss it all. But this is a HUGE act of God's demonstration of love to us.

God; Creator of the universe, Perfect, Holy, and Just; created mankind in His own image - with freewill (and with that comes the ability to sin).
When man (Adam&Eve) first chose to sin in the Garden of Eden, God was separated from His creation. You see, a Perfect and Just Being can not be in relationship with sinful and rebellious beings. All of man kind has the choice to not sin; but we all do.

Because God still loved His creation, God remained present in the world, but separated from man. Man continued to choose sin over God.

In the Old Testament, God's provision for reconciliation was one of sacrifice, a blood sacrifice because the wages of sin is death. There was also this thing known as the "Holy of Holies" - this refers to the inner sanctuary of the Tabernacle (place of worship) which is separated by a VEIL; where God was said to dwell; and could only be entered by the High Priest on one day of the year - The Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur).

Did you catch it?!  There was only one day out of the year, where one man could enter into the presence of God, behind the veil and seek reconciliation and forgiveness of sins for all people. 

THIS HAS ALL CHANGED NOW.

God sent His Son (title, not birth decree) Jesus to the earth to bring His people back to Himself. Jesus - fully man and fully God, came down and lived a perfect and sinless life; ushering in the Kingdom of God. Jesus was falsely accused of heresy and blasphemy and sentenced to death by the Jewish leaders (His own people)! But this wasn't by accident; this was all prophesied before any of it happened. And when Jesus breathed His last breath; the veil of the temple was torn! And Jesus rose again 3 days later.

THIS IS GOOD NEWS!

God now dwells among His people through The Holy Spirit. Jesus was the eternal sacrifice for our sins. Every day, every person can enter into the presence of God. God made a way for all of His children to be reconciled to Him at any point, that we no longer must live under the law but we are SET FREE!

This is why this verse speaks volumes to me. This verse is what changed my life forever. This verse is what allowed me to begin a personal and intimate relationship with the Triune God of The Bible. What an EXTRAORDINARY act of God's love for each of His children.

I seek to live in the presence of God the Father, to be ever guided by the Holy Spirit, and to praise the One, Jesus, who paid my debt.

My prayer is that this blog would help you to do the same; not because I am doing it perfectly right, or have it all together - I DON'T - but because I am sharing my pitfalls and victories with you, and you would learn from what God's is teaching me.